I’m okay. And that’s a lie.
If you want to know the truth, I’m not okay. But I’m okay with not being okay, if that even makes sense. I’ve long since buried myself under the lies and the ties of the relationships I have and have had and will have. I am a friend and a daughter and a sister and an employee and I will be a student and hopefully a lover. I am not me, but that’s okay. For now.
Or maybe it’s not, but I haven’t figured that out yet.
I’m twenty years old and still lost, but really, what more could I have expected? I was pushed into this hole and dug myself a little further. I asked for it and now I’m okay with digging myself back out.
All I have to fear is ripping the band-aid off and exposing the raw nerve endings of flesh and feeling that I hid from myself and everyone. Every day I get nearer to when I will have to bleed for me and for you and for them and that terrifies me. But I will make it through.
I’m not weak anymore.
Just so all of you know, I finally beat the Date Ariane game without cheating. Got her all liquored up, banged her twice and scored a ten.
Life: complete.
AAAHHH! TIM, YOU TOTAL PEEPER! GET OUT OF HERE!
I SWEAR TO GOD IF WE WEREN’T DATING EVERYTHING YOU DO WOULD BE ILLEGAL AND CREEPY. YOU’RE LIKE A LAW & ORDER: SVU BAD GUY THAT BUYS ME FLOWERS ON MY BIRTHDAY.
roses are red
violets are blue
sunflowers are yellow
i bet you were expecting something romantic but no this is just gardening facts
To be with me, one need not shave or dye their hair or pluck their brows. They need not be skinnier or dress in tighter clothes. I only ask that you love. Love what you do and where you’re going and who you are. Love your caring grandmother who baked you cookies, and the young girl colouring the sidewalk with chalk as you pass her by on the way to work. Love the music and love the silence. Love the green grass and the warm sunshine and the fresh smell after the rain.
Love the little things and tell me why you do.
Love me and tell me that you do.
And I will be yours.
